Letting Go Over 40 & Live Your Dreams

Jacqueline Jase Author

Letting Go Over 40 & Live Your Dream

Often, we are used to living with outgrown things in our lives without realizing it because it's easy to stay in a "comfort zone." 

But what no longer serves you can prevent you from living the life you want to live. It can be a career path, relationship, hobby, belief, habit, or anything.

I want you to take a little imaginative journey to explain what I mean…

Let's pretend you're going about your usual business—maybe sitting and working at your desk or reading a book—when the doorbell rings. You turn to the door but can't move in that direction. Or you might even get to the door but can't reach out to open it up. Your arm will only move so far, but you simply can't move the way you need to make it happen. This may be exactly what's occurring in your emotional life. 

Invisible strings are tying you to the past and keeping you from being fully functional in the present—limiting all that you do.

These invisible strings "tether points." 

An amazing book I read years ago about this, The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer (One of the amazing take-aways from this book, was the chatter we have in our head, most of the time we need to ignore it. It is just the way our mind works.  A life changing read.)

You need to discover these strings inside you and cut yourself loose from them, which is a bit like taking the car in for a tune-up so that you can move forward freely, with true choice.

Letting go is absolutely not a negative thing – in fact, sometimes it is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Now is the time to start a journey of discovering and questioning everything in your life:

• People around you, your friends, money mindset, goals, dreams – you name it everything! It will lead you to question your life on a much deeper level, and this can be the beginning of a very different shift in your life.
• Try to really 'unpack’ how you feel and understand what you want to do in your life and with whom you want to spend your time. That's just the thought that gives you a chance to surround yourself with those who inspire and/or support you (and vice versa). If you go through this exploring journey, you'll discover some of the root causes of your mental stress and dissatisfaction. 

It is true that many of us are people pleasers and always strive to meet others' expectations or standards. But as soon as you 'let go' of these feelings and expectations, you'll immediately feel a sigh of relief and start living life in a more relaxed way.

So, it's very important to feel what you feel to understand your tether points, and finally, let them go!

How do you know what no longer serves you before letting it go?

You just "know"
Feel the energy of emotions. Your intuition or gut feeling helps you know when something feels "off" or wrong. The reaction can be emotional or physical. You might feel fatigued, dizzy, sick, or feel a tug or a "pit" in your stomach. 

You dread doing it
An indication that something isn't serving you is when you find yourself dreading it and wanting to do something else, spending time with someone, or you may find yourself wishing you could skip it.

You're distracted
Those interests and relationships that resonate with you should make you forget about the notifications on your smartphone – if they don't, it's a sign that something is wrong.

It no longer brings you meaning or joy (remember the year of joy…another example) 
Clinging to the situations and people that are not bringing joy or meaning to your life or you're happier doing almost anything else rather than pursuing that hobby or relationship that's a sign that it's time to rethink and let it go.

You dream of a future without it
When you can imagine your future without something or someone, that means it truly doesn't synch with who you are at your core. You won't want it in your life.

It makes you feel bad about yourself
Any relationship that continually brings you down or you're giving more than receiving is a sign that the relationship isn't serving you. It might just be a mismatch or toxic.

Once you determine what doesn't serve you, it's time to let go. 

But…

How to let go?

No worries, I gotcha’! 

It's not that difficult. Just little steps and simpler ways of letting go will help you achieve a contented life.

Let go of your fears and accept the situation
The process begins with realizing what we're leaving behind. It can be hard to accept the fact that something – your career, relationship, or belief, no longer fits in with your life. Let go of stress and fears that are beyond your control that are holding you back from living a happier life. Accept that letting it go is right for you.

Honor it
Whatever you are detaching from was probably once a big part of your life. Take some time to acknowledge the experiences and lessons it gave you.

Take time to grieve
Letting go can be scary but remember that you're pinpointing something or someone in your life that hasn't been bringing you joy. Maybe you've been holding onto that person or thing for a few months or decades. With change, there will be sadness and a sense of loss. Allow yourself the time to grieve – this is normal and healthy.

Reconnect with Yourself
This is so important. Take it as an opportunity to ask yourself who you really are and what you really want. Explore yourself, your emotions, your dreams. Do something you've always wanted to try. It'll make you so much stronger and more grounded.

Trust that wonderful things are around the corner
It can be hard to trust that something better will come to fill that void. But don't lose hope; when we put in the work to get go of what is no longer serving us, the Universe will conspire to bring something even more beautiful & beneficial into our lives.

We can change at any age, in any life stage, and create a life we truly love by learning, growing, and adopting new habits.

This is your life; take control of it and start living it the way you want to live it!

Categories: Letting Go, Living Your Dream